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2 questions, 1 post!

Hubs and I are fans of tattoos. I have a memory tattoo of my dog, Jazmin on my calf. Before our wedding, we were going to get each other’s names tattooed on our ring fingers. We both like the idea of that-with Hubs job, he may not always be able to wear his ring, and he wants it to be known that he is married. I’ve liked the idea forever; however the tattooist talked us out of it. He said that the hands shed so much skin that over time you’ll have to get it re-done a few times a month. Makes sense. Why constantly pay money for something that wears off sooner than planned? We’ve been back and forth on what to get for some time now.

I think he’s getting a memorial tattoo of his grandma who died 3 days after our wedding. She said ‘I made it to their wedding, now I’m done’. He wants her name on a cross on his shoulder. Me, I’ve got so many ideas floating around. I for sure want to get part of a bible verse that was said at our wedding “love is patient, love is kind” or “love never fails” I’m leaning more towards the 2nd one. But I also want to incorporate the ‘infertility’ ribbon. Now, I know what you’re thinking, that once I get that, it’ll always be a part of me. But really, Infertility will always be a part of me, too. I’m getting the tattoo I decide on my back between my shoulder blades. I want it there, because if I do get the ribbon, it will symbolize to me ‘infertility is behind me’, of course that’s once we achieve a pregnancy.
I’m just at a loss; do you guys have any ideas?

Okay here’s the 2nd one:

So, I think most of you know that hubs and I are young. I’m 21 and he’s 23. We have been TTC since February of 2010 (Medically) and since January 2009 (unmediated, which is when we first got engaged, anyways). So, because we’re so young and we’re afraid of being judged and ignored, we haven’t told our families. They don’t even know. It’s so hard to keep these things from them, but it’s what’s best for us, and we decided that if we get pregnant, we will tell them what we had to go thru to achieve this absolute miracle.

However, things have changed…Since our president is changing the healthcare system, even though I am married, I am still able to be put back on my parents healthcare plan. Which is GREAT for us, we don’t have to spend $400 every month/$200 every paycheck to pay for little to nothing for health insurance, that I could write a whole other post on how much I hate. That right there will help so much! We won’t have to pay a dime for me; just $80 for hubs for temporary care while he starts his new job. Anyways, my mom and I were at her house the other day watching my niece, and she said “when are you guys going to have a baby, I want more grandchildren?” This has been going on for about 6 months, every once in a while she’ll ask, and my answer usually is, “I don’t know, hopefully soon”.
Now for my question…
We want to tell them that we’re TTC, but HOW? Do we invite them over for dinner or something? Do I e-mail them? I’m so lost! If we don’t tell them, they’ll end up finding out anyways, after they receive any sort of bill for me from their health care company. Do we still tell them?
Please keep in mind that I’m very open about things with my mom, and dad. So this may or may not be a shock to them. I’m just looking for feedback on how to tell them. I want them to know that we’re serious about this, and it isn’t a joke.
Thanks all!!

Snow day!

Today in MN we are in the middle of a blizzard. A foot of snow has fallen in record time and it’s still a comin’! We still have heat, electricity and of course tv and Internet. Lol take a look for your selves! I’m nannying today or I would be at home…here’s a picture from their deck!! Crazy! All know for sure is I’m sure glad to have roadside assistance from my new car!! If I get stuck, free tows for me! Gotta love it. Be safe if you are a reader from MN, and any other snowy state!!

Stay Tuned!

Hi all,

I know that I said that I’d be gone for a while, but seriously….when I’m at work there’s nothing else to do other than figure out how I can get my readers more loyal. Stay tuned…In a few days there will be a great giveaway!! Trust me, you’ll like it!! Especially for all of those who are still TTC. Just thought I’d give you a heads up!!

Simple Kindness

Is pretty self explanatory. Seems easy and something that would come naturally. News Flash everyone, it doesn’t come as naturally as we think it should. 100% easier said than it is done. Should we constantly feel the need to put people down in ways that hurt the most? It’s not what God intended for us to do. We should treat others just like we want to be treated….that’s a saying that goes back into elementary school. It’s one of the ‘golden rules’ right? I have always remembered it, and I’m sure I always will. One day I hope to instill it into my children’s minds.  The whole point of this post is to have you take a look and look at what happens daily. Do you constantly point and laugh at people behind their backs? Do you laugh because someone is overweight and can’t help themselves to that tasty burger from McDonalds? Do you laugh because you can’t help yourself and it just makes you feel that much better about yourself than it did 30 seconds before you said it? No, probably not. I try SO hard every day not to judge, but it’s hard. I’m not gonna lie ya’ll. But think about it-if one person starts by not judging, we can eventually move into a world where judging is almost obsolete. Do we see people walking around laughing and judging us because we’re infertile? No-they just don’t do i. I used to be so naive, but until I found out the hurtful truth about myself, I have realized that even though someone may look completely normal on the outside, there can always be something on the inside that we can’t see.. So what makes it okay to judge others on their physical appearance.

I struggle with my weight, but that’s from PCOS. I don’t remember the last time I felt ‘comfortable’ in my skin-maybe…oh wait. Never. I was always very tall growing up and I still am. But I was tall and my jeans were always high waters, and I always felt uncomfortable. Then, when all my friends were getting their periods in 5th and 6th grade….9th grade couldn’t have come at a better time. I didn’t get AF till I was 15, almost 16. Thanks again, PCOS. Senior high-I had HORRIBLE acne. Though, it was under control thanks to modern medicine and a tortuous face washing routine. I was 120 lbs in high school; I am 5 foot 10/11. I told you I was tall…lol. At that point, I always wore sweatshirts, and never wore shirts that showed my body. I was uncomfortable-again. When I started dating my husband (November 2004) I started coming out of my shell. I wore tank tops that showed off my body, and I was getting attention that I never got before. I was starting to open up. I liked it. My husband’s friends were jealous of him and I felt that I looked good. That was until 2007 rolled around….I started gaining weight left and right-It was a bad scene. My face got more round, and so did my stomach. But, my husband stayed with me. Not once did he not think I was ‘perfect’. But seriously, no one is perfect. We all suffer from a disease called perfection. I stumbled across a blog of a single father who is raising his boys. He wrote this, and I’ve always had it in the back of my mind. Take a good look-and when he says read it to the bottom. Do it.

Sorry I rambled, but I wanted to make a point-even though we don’t feel comfortable, we don’t need to bash others to make up for the feelings we have.

Insert title here…

I don’t really have too much to say. I honestly don’t know what to say….I’m upset because so far this cycle has been a bust. I have had nothing that indicates I’m ovulating, no cramps indication AF is going to show. All that I’ve gotten is more angry at myself for not being able to get pregnant. It sucks. I can see it in hubs face too when we talk about it. He feels like he should be able to help more than he is, but really there isn’t anything he can do. It just makes me upset that I can’t provide the family for him that he has wanted. Like I said here, I think God does really have a plan for us. Whether or not that plan is to have a baby is beyond me. I hate sounding so negative, because I know I haven’t tried everything is the world to achieve pregnancy, but I’ve done what we can afford. Granted we can afford IUI’s but right now isn’t the best time for us to do that-I can’t take off too much of work until after the new years, and it just bothers me. I’m sort of feeling…let’s go with left out. Partially because 2 of the blogs that I read got miracle BFP’s. One, her and her husband both suffer from infertility issues and were planning their FET in January-the other has been trying for so long! I feel like I’m the only one left. Don’t get me wrong, AT ALL. I’m SO HAPPY for Hannah and Mrs. Joe, that I can’t even believe it! I love seeing those BFP’s, just wish it was mine. I can’t wait to see these guys start their lives as pregnant and enjoy the updates. I really am.

With that being said-I think I’m going to be silent for a while. I need to really focus on my life. On my husband and family. I need to remember that God did give me them, and they’re what’s most important. I think we’re going to skip next cycle, and not use the Clomid too. Who know’s maybe I’ll get my miracle BFP too! So, sorry if I’m MIA for a while-I’m sure it wont be for too long, but I’ll see what makes me feel best.

Life.

I really am beginning to realize that God does have a plan for us. However, I feel he has a rough draft for us and hasn’t quite published our story yet. Each day brings new things, and with those new things come more opportunities. Everyone likes those, right? Well, hubs has been battling trying to find a decent job since his the company he worked for shut down. It was hard at first, but he found jobs that paid well, but didn’t necessarily give him room for advancement, and he didn’t really like them either. They were just a stepping stone to get him on his feet again. He’s a blue-collar guy at heart, and that’s the way he’ll always be. That’s obviously fine with me, I married him for him-not his job! Well, he was offered a job as a truck driver. Working for a really great company about 20 minutes from where we live. This was an opportunity I didn’t want him to pass up, but didn’t want him to take if he didn’t want to. The problem is, he may have to be gone a few nights out of the week. Yikes. What if he’s gone when we need to get down to business? It will screw things up. That’s exactly what I thought when he told me that. It just made me realize that maybe this chapter is where we save up more money and pay off more debt!? I think that would be awesome, however I want my husband at home 😦 Oh well, maybe with him doing this, I’ll be able to quit my FT job and get something more part-time at a Vet clinic. (for those of you who are new, I’m going to Vet Tech School). Maybe there will be less stress, and I’ll be able to focus on myself, and lose some more weight! I will be able to spend more time with my babies puppies and maybe more time with friends. Who knows! All I know is that I appreciate all that hubs has done for me in these last 6 years we’ve been with each other. I love him now more than I ever have. He want’s nothing more than to be able to support a family, and this job will give him that opportunity. Thank God. He sent me a text today, and it made me smile. The words that I read were music to my ears. I love that man so much!

Hubs: I dont feel stressed
Me: about what?
Hubs: life i feel relaxed
Me: Well that’s good, as long as you’re happy I’m happy!

Kelsey

Awesome!

4 little men and girly twins.  Have you heard of them!? Well shame on you. Brittany is amazing. Check out her current giveaway!  I would totally love to win this, however, there are soooo many people that want to win, my chances are slim 2 none! Yikes. Anyways, thought I’d higher my chances by blogging about it 🙂