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Merry Christmas ya’ll!

It’s that time of year again, where families gather and stories are told, and children are held close. It’s that time of year where people who long for children feel left out. It’s also that time of year again, when the most simple heart ache feels 10x worse than it should. It’s that time of year where we ‘want our Christmas miracle to happen.’ but alas another negative test occurs. We wonder if it’ll ‘ever happen to us’. Ya’ll, I know it will, but I would love to be able to know when. I’ve never been one to have to know when things occur; however this is a nother story. I want to be in control of my body, well more in control. Theres only so much that I can do! Anyways, enough about the sappy stuff, right? Let’s get on the road, Jack!

I emailed my mom about hubs and I being infertile (yuck, that just makes me cringe, even typing that). Call me a coward, but I didn’t know how else to do it. I was scared shitless, and God knew that Hubs wasn’t going to say it either. It was about a page and a half of information, starting from June 2008 to current. I didn’t hear from her the next day, and she didn’t mention it at lunch with the fam the following day (thursday). She did however call me later that night, and say “did you want to talk about your e-mail?” I honestly told her, not really, but we ended up talking anyways. Are you guys ready for this SHOCKING news? Okay well here goes…

SHE HAD TROUBLE WITH INFERTILITY TOO!!! It took her 4 years to conceive my oldest sister…I blantently said “And why am I just hearing about this?” It was weird, she knew a lot about what I was talking about, but she said we’re lucky, as 34 years ago when they were trying there wasn’t health insurance to cover treatments and they paid 100% out-of-pocket. It was just a little reassuring that she knows. I’m debating wether or not to give her my blog site; that way she can read up on us if I don’t tell her…I don’t know yet.

Anyways, I better get back to the ICLW commenting, I’ve been pretty lazy, lol!

MERRY CHIRSTMAS!!

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December:IcomLeavWe

I haven’t participated in this since uhh the end of last year. I did it once, and got lazy, because I felt weird about it. But I’ve seem many different people connect from it, so hey I’m gonna give it a chance.

I’m 21 and hubs is 23. We got married August of 2009, and have been trying for a baby since January of 2009 (when we got engaged). Our families don’t have the slightest clue we TTC, so the blog is my only outlet. I have been diagnosed with PCOS, the dreaded anovulation, long period, no period syndrome. It sucks royally. It isn’t fun, and I hate it. I wouldn’t wish it upon ANYONE. Anyways, I’m sure you already know about it. You’re on a TTC blog, and I’m sure you’ve read other ones.. So.

I’m genetically prone to wanting a baby. It’s in my genes-either way, we’re going to have one. I promise. It’s just going to take us a little time, sorta like Thomas the train…’ I think I we can…’ I hate saying I, because hubs is apart of this journey, too-thus ‘we’ will be said a lot. He struggles too,  ya know. He just doesn’t show it as openly as I do. He’s a guy, whatta ya gonna expect from him?

Okay, so I started metformin in February of 2010. I lost like 20 pounds, and love the medicine. I mean, when you have PCOS losing 20 pounds openly isn’t an easy feat, lemme tell ya. Well, after being on it so long, I seriously got sick from it. I couldn’t handle it-so I took a self diagnosed break from it. Probably a bad idea. I gained that weight back. I’m back up to what was when I started. I’m not super overweight, but I’m on the verge. I can still have a healthy pregnancy. After a long 40 some day cycle last month, I started Provera to induce my period, and I started Clomid. Yikes. When they say the side effects are crazy, they mean it. I was an emotional mess. Anywho- I’m sitting on CD14 today, and I haven’t ovulated  yet. I’m hoping that bumping up to 100mg will work next cycle. Here’s to everyone getting out BFP’s sooner than later!!

Kelsey